I have an answer for Tim Gunn...

Tim Gunn (of Project Runway fame), has a new book that he's promoting. He recently did a promotional interview that included the question of why he isn't out to his mother. In my current situation--being middle-aged and not out to my family--I, of course, am fascinated by this fact. Tim is quite a bit older than I am, has become quite famous, and is not out to his mother.

In the interview he states...

"I approach it this way, and please don’t think a huge of amount of discomfort didn’t permeate every molecule of my being as I was contemplating this whole thing. But I asked myself, ‘What do I gain from this and what does she gain?’ I certainly never talked about being interested in women or men with her."

My response to Tim would be that he has much to gain and much to lose. If he came out to his mother their relationship could be much stronger, bringing them closer to each other in their ability to talk about this important part of his life.

Or...it could potentially put a strain on their relationship causing them to not be as close for the remaining years of his mother's life. It depends on her reaction over the long term.

From what I've read about Tim, he was once in a serious relationship, got hurt very badly and has since not pursued a long term relationship. With this being the case, I guess it could be argued that there is less of a reason for him to come out to his mother at this point.

I am in a different situation. I am in the best relationship of my life and have been with my man for almost 8 years. If it were to be accepted and 'on the table' for normal conversation I would love to share this part of my life with my mother, if not my entire family. In fact, if my mother were able to accept that I am gay, I think she would actually be relieved to know that I am not alone and have someone with whom I am sharing my life. Even though she has never talked to me about her concerns of my being alone, I am fairly sure it makes her worry.

Nonetheless, it still comes down to the gamble or risk I'm willing to take. Am I ready if the result is becoming more distant, and is it worth it at my mother's age?