How much destiny is in that destiny?

You always hear that you're destined to be like your parents. While there are some obvious ways in which I'm not like my father, I do see some mannerisms and behaviors that I begrudgingly admit are similar.

The thing about my father that worries me the most is how much he seems to have "checked-out" of life. Looking back I now see that he was always somewhat distant and never very emotional or particularly tuned-in to life. I didn't notice him being distant as I was growing up, probably because it was all that I knew as normal. I can't say I remember wishing my father was more like my friends' fathers.

What's frustrating now is how he seems to have generally given up. Granted, he's quite elderly and has severe scoliosis--but for years now I haven't seen any desire or effort to maintain the quality of his life. In fact, what I see is him allowing the quality of his life to deteriorate. When I'm visiting, a very large amount of his time is spent on the sofa, in front of the TV--sleeping. When having a conversation with him it usually takes some back and forth before he's making statements that are accurate. He doesn't do anything to exercise his body or his mind.

He always seems very tired. It makes me wonder if there is something I'm not aware of that he has carried with him for many years. Something over time that has worn him down. I do understand how something emotional or psychological can make you physically tired. Through the double-life I have lead in many aspects while growing up, I have regularly experienced how exhausting it can be. I can't help but wonder if there's something that has pulled him down in a similar manner. (I don't believe he is gay--judging from how I've seen him look at women in the past.)

Even though I've drastically improved my life and in some ways live much more openly, I do still sometimes find myself emotionally worn down. I can see how it might happen, but I hope I do not get to the point of ever giving up and only coasting through life.